A high school student gave North and pinafore eroticism captionsSouth America a bit of a redesign, and the internet is rightfully obsessed.
Sports writer Craig Calcaterra found the delightfully chaotic map on his 16-year-old daughter Anna's desk and subsequently alerted Twitter to her unhinged genius.
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Looking at Anna's bold new vision of the continent, a few pieces instantly stand out. Texas has decided that it would like to just keep going all the way through Canada, that is, if we're still calling that chunk of land Canada.
Ohio has been given a sister state of practically the same shape, brilliantly titled "Ohio 2," and shoehorned right in the middle of Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, and Colorado.
You can find a complete list of changes in Anna's "Patch Notes" to the left of the map. To name a few:
"New Hampshire and Vermont have been combined into New Hampsmont"
"Florida lengthened, removing the coastline from several Southern states, leading to a second civil war and Florida's eventual secession"
"Chile becomes Long Chile, removing the entire west coast and causing Chilean-American War"
We both fear and are spiritually moved by Long Chile and plan to move there as soon as possible.
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Touché, Anna.
When asked what inspired Anna to throw the entire continent into chaos, Calcaterra told Mashable, "She said (in a text to me earlier this morning when someone else asked) 'I was inspired by seeing people not from the US trying to label maps of the states and failing miserably.'"
It's possible Anna was referencing this map that went viral earlier this week.
Another purpose? To just frustrate the hell out of everybody.
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Be that as it may, Anna is definitely seeing something the rest of us are missing. It's her world (literally), and we're all just living in it. Some of us in Ohio 2, some of us in West Dakota, and a lucky some of us in Long Chile.
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