A lot of people are prisoner sex videobehind President-elect Joe Biden and Vice President-elect Kamala Harris' historic White House victory — campaign workers, volunteers, and millions of voters. But there is also one Thing behind the Biden-Harris triumph, and that Thing is Gritty.
In the days leading up to Nov. 3, the official mascot for the NHL's Philadelphia Flyers-turned-internet's beloved goblin son became a symbol of the importance Pennsylvania played in the 2020 presidential election. We prayed to him, we worshipped him, we asked him for deliverance.
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Now that Pennsylvania has gone blue and the Biden-Harris campaign has claimed victory, of course, we must give Gritty what Gritty is due — and the internet has suggestions.
There's the obvious option: get Gritty into politics where Gritty belongs.
In Gritty's short two years on this planet, the orange google-eyed creature has become an emblem of progressive change. Gritty could easily make a positive impact in any number of federal departments as a cabinet member.
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Another person suggested Gritty be allowed to serve as interim president — which for sure won't fly (Gritty is a two-year-old!) but would still be a fairly solid option given the circumstances we're left in until Jan. 20. Someone else recommended replacing all confederate statues with shrines to Gritty's greatness, which yes.
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Or we could put Gritty on the $20 bill and make this dude really happy.
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And then there's this suggestion, which is surprisingly graphic and common.
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Or we could just get Gritty a drink.
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All hail, Gritty. Long live, Gritty. Liberté, Egalité, Gritté.
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