As many climate change activists are sex slaves masturbaing videopointing out lately, the "doomsday" implied in the term "Doomsday Glacier" — the nickname given to the Thwaites Glacier in Antarctica — may be coming soon. But what will that day actually be like?

As noted in a scary new paper in the journal Nature Geoscienceby a team led by geological oceanographer Alastair G. C. Graham, the Thwaites Glacier in Antarctica may be closer to a major disintegration event than previously thought.

Here’s what’s new in our understanding of this situation: This new study involved analyzing ridges on the sea floor. These rib-like formations reveal strong evidence of the glacier’s location for centuries as the tide nudged it each day. This is different from previously gathered data about the glacier, which was pulled from satellite maps of the ice as it edges closer and closer toward a total (or near total) collapse into the ocean.

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Using this new way of measuring the glacier’s "footprints" if you will, we now know a sudden melting event occurred over the course of six months at some point in the past 200 years. In that brief span, the section of glacier causing those formations on the ocean floor retreated at twice the rate that satellite photos had been able to detect. That means in addition to the steady loss of mass scientists already knew about, there are also rarer, and scarier, pulses of very rapid disintegration. 

"Thwaites is really holding on today by its fingernails, and we should expect to see big changes over small timescales in the future," marine geophysicist Robert Larter, one of the study’s co-authors,said in a statement to the press.

Some of the ridges detected on the seafloor from the Thwaites glacier as it moved with the tides. Credit: Ali Graham

So the breakup of this glacier appears imminent, and the consequences of that breakup are no joke. According to a 2020 estimate from the International Thwaites Glacier Collaboration, four percent of climate change-caused sea-level rise so far came from Thwaites alone, and a sudden total collapse would raise sea levels 25 inches more. (Importantly, a Thwaites collapse could eventually — over a longer timeframe of perhaps centuries — unleash up to eight more feetof sea level rise from its glacial neighbors.)

"Scientists want to find out how quickly this could happen," the communications manager for the Collaboration, Athena Dinar, wrote in a statement. 

How quickly is the Thwaites Glacier melting?

The question of how fast Thwaites is deteriorating is an urgent one. For around the past decade, the glacier has receded by about half a mile per year by relatively warmer ocean waters eroding the glacier from below — which is a lot. "It is a tremendous rate of retreat," Sridhar Anandakrishnan, a professor of glaciology at Penn State University who visits and researches the Thwaites Glacier, previously told Mashable.

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But if Thwaites loses its grounding to a key ridge on the ocean floor, this rate of retreat could increase significantly (the new research showed that Thwaites experienced an ice loss of 1.3 miles per year at some point in the past two centuries).

A sudden glacial breakup will see a mind-boggling quantity of new water suddenly dumped into the ocean, and it’s hard not to imagine the water rising all at once, like when you dunk a big ice cube into a full glass. 

And perhaps an overnight, catastrophic inundation could happen, but the available evidence from this new study points to even the "doomsday" scenario spanning six months at least. That’s frightening, and similar shifts in the movement of ocean water have historical precedents, but thankfully, compared to the all-at-once scenario, six months is enough time for people who live in low-lying, coastal neighborhoods to evacuate. 

See the potential sea-level rise for yourself

The unsettling new Louisiana coastline. Credit: Screenshot / NOAA

You can see for yourself what the collapse of the Thwaites Glacier would look like thanks to Sea Level Rise Viewer, a web application created by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA). This redraws any U.S. coastline to factor in any given amount of sea level rise (in 12-inch increments).

It would, for instance, devastate southern Louisiana and Mississippi. In New York, however, Manhattan would get merely splashed — despite flood danger in low-lying areas like Hudson Yards. The city where I live, Los Angeles, would mostly be spared, apart from the area around Venice Beach. 

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Alarming name might mask a larger problem

By no means is any of this intended to soft-pedal the horrors of sea level rise, but it’s worth noting that scientists have expressed their misgivings about attaching apocalyptic significance to Thwaites in particular, notably in an article by Jackson Ryan of CNET. "On the one hand, it is a wakeup call, aka take these things seriously," NASA earth scientist Eric Rignot told Ryan. "On the other hand, it summarizes the situation as if there was only one bad glacier out there."   

As Ryan points out in that article, the "Doomsday Glacier" moniker "might actually do more harm than good," since there are other, bigger ice formations to worry about. And as Ryan notes, "One of the chief reasons scientists feel uneasy about the phrase is that it suggests we're already doomed."

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"Doom" is a tricky rhetorical device to use effectively in this context, since, as the IPCC’s sixth report pointed out, better climate policies are likely to result in climate benefits decades from the time they go into effect — perhaps as much as 30 years down the road, according to chapter 4 of the report. So we’re notdoomed, yet at the same time, nothing we do now may benefit present-day young adults until they’re on the verge of old age.

This means if the so-called “Doomsday Glacier” is clinging by a thread, it truly may be too late to prevent it from melting.

So to recap: Thwaites may hit the critical point scientists fear, and fully disintegrate. When and if it does, the results may well be cataclysmic, but they won’t be apocalyptic.