The eliza gardenia sex videofun’s over, folks.

I’ve had a verified checkmark on Twitterfor approximately six years. Theoretically, it’s because I’m a journalist. In reality, it’s because you used to be able to openly apply for one, and I did that while I was just an intern at another website. I didn’t expect to get it, but I did, and I’ve been laughing about it ever since.

In the aftermath of Elon Musk’s takeoverof the bird site, I don’t want the stupid thing anymore. Whatever meaning it may have once had (if not for me, then for other people), it’s been rendered meaningless by Musk’s hare-brained new policies. 

Even if I initially got it as a joke, having a checkmark now makes youthe punchline. I don’t want any part of that. 

Man without a plan

In case you’ve been living under a rock (or you just don’t use Twitter, in which case I commend you), one of Musk’s early initiatives as owner of the site has been to “democratize” the blue checkmark. He did so by allowing anyone to get one if they paid $8/mo for a Twitter Blue subscription. 

Because nothing is as democratic as gating access to something behind a paywall, I guess.

Anyway, the net result has been nothing short of disastrous. Musk apparently went into this without any sort of plan, so accounts that already had checkmarks like major public figures or institutions instead got a little “Official” badge on their page. This is, of course, very dumb, and produced outcomes like Kanye West having an “Official” badge while Joe Biden didn’t. 

Musk killed thatwithin a day.

Then, as everyone on the site predicted, people started paying $8 for a checkmark, changing their avatars and display names to mirror those of major media figures or companies, and posting fake news or vulgar content. Again, anyone could’ve seen that coming. 

This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.

Not a status symbol

The core problem with all of this, something that Musk doesn’t seem to understand despite spending a lot of time on Twitter, is that the checkmark was never meant to be a status symbol. It was simply meant to denote that someone is who they say they are. By making it as simple as spending $8 to get one (with no ID verification), he’s rendered it completely meaningless.

And maybe it was alwaysmeaningless to an extent. After all, in my own case, it was a bit from the beginning. People have also been using other methods (emojis that sort of look like the checkmark at a glance, for example) to impersonate big accounts for years. The system has always been subvertible, but now subverting it is part of the business plan.

• If Mastodon wants to replace Twitter, we'll have to ruin it first
• People started spreading fake news on Twitter the instant they could buy a blue check
• If you buy a blue checkmark, Twitter will tell on you
• Can an $8 Twitter subscription bail out Elon Musk? Let's look at the numbers.
• Elon Musk can't tweet his way out of this

If that’s the case, I want out. It’s not clear when, or if, already-verified people like me who elect not to pay will lose their checkmarks, but I’d like for it to happen ASAP. Elon, buddy, if you’re reading this: Take that little badge off of Twitter user @Yelix’s page. It’s no longer of any use to me.

If I continue to have a checkmark, it’ll only result in derision and ridicule (beyond what I already get for my terrible posts) because people will think I’ve paid for it. It doesn’t matter that you can hover over the badgeto see if someone paid for it or not; people on Twitter don’t even read news stories before commenting on them. That’s a useless dead end.

If the equation for verification is "people who are important or people who pay money," I no longer qualify for either. I’m just a guy who filled out a form in 2016, thinking it wouldn’t go anywhere. And I’m fully aware that I can do it myself by changing my @ handle, but I don’t want to do it that way. I want it taken from me. I want to be a martyr for the cause. 

Let’s make it happen, my guy. I'm ready to be a man of the people again.