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【i promise i'll never show anyone this video amateur sex】50 things we want from the Republican National Convention

Source:Global Hot Topic Analysis Editor:focus Time:2025-07-03 02:11:09

We can i promise i'll never show anyone this video amateur sexprobably expect both the Republican and Democratic National Conventions to be anything but boring.

Starting Monday, the RNC is holding its convention in Cleveland, Ohio, where the GOP will most probably announce Donald Trump as their nominee for the next President of the United States.

SEE ALSO: It's easier to buy a gun than do these 100 things in America

Of course, we want to hear about policy and about what we should expect from Trump as the Republican candidate. But honestly, some of us are also hoping for a few cringeworthy moments to keep our comedy dreams alive.


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Because, after all, if we can't cry, we must laugh.

So, we came up with 50 things we hope to see over the next four days. Most of these dreams won't happen, but we still have to hang on to hope. Stay tuned for things we hope happen at the DNC as well. There are plenty more jokes to be had.

Via Giphy

1. Zombie Ronald Reagan enters the race as a dark horse and walks away with the nomination.

2. At least five wardrobe malfunctions involving pant flies.

3. The Hellmouth opens up and swallows Donald Trump.

4. Donald Trump turns into a giant serpent and it's up to Buffy to save everyone.

5. Mike Pence gets glitterbombed.

6. Trump says, "SURPRISE! I'm not really running. I was just messing with you." Then drops the mic as he leaves, riding into the sunset.

7. Someone actually understands what #BlackLivesMatter means.

8. Trump opens his speech by telling the other former candidates, "you're fired.” It gets no laughs.

9. Trump drinks the tears of Bernie Bros to gain their power.

Via Giphy

10. The GOP picks someone totally different to be their candidate and pretends s/he was always the nominee.

11. Trump learns the difference between England and Scotland.

12. Trump doesn't call a woman fat, ugly or shrill. Or alludes to her being on her period.

13. A celebrity uses a piece of furniture to illustrate why they don't like Hillary.

14. On that note, Carrot Top does some prop comedy.

15. A last minute appearance by Siegfried and Roy.

16. Newt talks about his moon base ideas. Yes, they are real.

17. The delegates say that they have to go, their planet needs them, and they fly off of stage.

18. No one brings up religion.

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19. There is a pancake breakfast. We love pancakes.

20. FOOD FIGHT!

Via Giphy

21. The convention is overrun by teens playing Pokemon Go.

22. There is a mid-afternoon screening of the Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump.

23. There's a Kid Rock cover band.

24. Sarah Palin actually teaches us how to field dress a moose.

25. The delegates all sing "Cleveland Rocks!" from The Drew Carey Show.

26. No wifi.

27. No one brings up Benghazi.

28. Chris Christie is seen crying in the corner.

29. Trump gives away honorary doctorates from Trump University, fired out of a t-shirt gun.

Via Giphy

30. Newt Gingrich demonstrates to America how to make an excellentguacamole.

31. Trump is revealed to be a wall of ants wearing a suit.

32. Trump is revealed to be a giant sweet potato wearing a bale of hay.

33. Trump is revealed to be the anthropomorphic hot dog from Sausage Party.

34. Trump changes the name of the GOP to Sausage Party.

35. Trump's real, Finnish birth certificate is found.

36. Trump gets upset because he can't bring his own, slightly larger, podium.

37. Paul Ryan gives a seminar on beard-shaving.

38. Someone actually understands what gun control means.

39. Trump wears baseball mitts to hide his tiny hands.

Via Giphy

40. Mark McGwire comes on stage to pop a few dingers into the audience. Thanks, Mark.

41. A salute to Diners, Drive-ins and Dives.

42. A Reagan hologram.

43. A special last-minute surprise appearance by the cast of the 1998 Godzillafilm.

44. People of Cleveland keep getting matched with Newt's several Tinder profiles.

45. 40 minutes of Trump’s speech will be dedicated to how standing desks are very unhealthy.

46. Trump actually talks about policies other than a giant wall.

47. Carly Fiorina fixes that printer.

48. They actually talk about policy. Please?

49. Trump doesn't mention his daughter, Ivanka, being "a sexy, beautiful girl."

50. Kanye interrupts to make a lengthy speech about his 2020 Presidential campaign.

Via Giphy

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